The stress is mounting

We are right at the point in the PhD process where the stress seems to be at its highest. Close to done, not sure we're going to hit deadlines, feeling like we can't not hit them. It is stressful on a level I haven't felt before. Questions like why the heck did we decide to do a PhD are definitely in abundance. It's a ride and a really bumpy one right now. I keep hoping one more week will go by things will settle down and be more certain of finishing timelines and such. No dice yet. Still in the everything in our entire life is up in the air phase and I'm ready to move on past the limbo.

Still, we did some fun things this week. Most importantly, Chloe turned two! She is the cutest two year-old around and it's so fun to see her grow and develop. She's been potty trained for over a month. She is talking up a storm. She has definite opinions about things and is pretty stinking good at getting what she wants. She's still shy in public, which is really nice when she wants to just sit on my lap quietly. She thinks she's big enough to walk in the parking lot without holding hands. This is false. She's been known to scream, "Let go, let go!" when attempts at hand holding are initiated. She likes to ride on the back of the shopping cart like a big kid. She likes to drink from a cup with no lid. Basically she thinks she's big and has some skills to prove it. She still thinks hair is overrated. She's got some cute curls in the back, but it's just feathery otherwise. She's got these piercing blue eyes that make you forget about her lack of hair though. She's going to slay everyone she meets with those. Happy birthday sweet baby girl.

 She refused to wear this dress when she got it four days ago and has only now deigned to try it on, but only long enough to take a picture and then it was off again. She's so funny. Who even knows what she'll like. I reliably can guess she'll love any stuffed animal or baby doll and otherwise it's anyone's guess.

She thought this cupcake was cute and all, especially since the frosting was yellow, and she liked getting sung to, but Genevieve blew out her candles for her, lol.

Kind of a random gift, but we got her a camp cot for future adventures and, typical of our children, she adores it. The other kids don't know that there's one for each of them too, just waiting for their summer birthdays to happen. 

   Grandma Suzanne sent headbands and both girls are pretty happy about it.

Spencer has been struggling with sharing a room with his siblings and so on a bit of a whim we decided to help him out and literally  move every bedroom around in our house to give him his own room. He's thrilled. The littles are pretty happy with their new, huge room, and Bill and I aren't sad about having a half bath in our new, quite small, but just big enough for the essentials, bedroom. Seems like it will work out okay for however long we are in this house. Spencer is also sharing his room with our we hope we are moving soon and I'm worried about how hot and humid it gets in the attic and I don't want my stuff up there anymore storage. He really just has one corner of this room and the rest is storage, but he's happy as can be. We're going to remind him of this for the rest of forever whenever he says we don't do anything for him. Remember that time when we moved the entire house around for you? lololol. 

Pictures from this week

 Summer haircuts. Genevieve asked me to cut hers to her shoulder. I cut off a good six or eight inches. It is so adorable this length though.

 Chloe really got into her father's day craft at nursery at church. Stickers upon stickers upon stickers!

 She wears her swimsuit basically all day most days now.

 So do all the other kids.

Happiness is playing at the outdoor water park at the YMCA after swim lessons. Only one more chance for that this Saturday at Chloe's last lesson. Fingers crossed we have a YMCA or a good rec center wherever we move.

New Plans

Oh goodness, what a roller coaster weekend it has been. This last six months of Bill's grad work has been one huge hill to overcome after another. Every phase has taken twice as long as expected. Everything is hard. I kept wondering what the next hard thing would be but it never crossed my mind the job search would be it. We thought we were heading to Colorado to work for a firm there we recruited with last year. Only problem, they got back to us letting us know they actually don't have any openings right now, which was completely unexpected and it's like now what? The sky is the limit. We can go anywhere. All weekend it's been a mix of mourning the "loss" of a completely ideal job location and situation as well as throwing around ideas of what we want to do now. I mean obviously Bill is starting his job search again, and there are a couple wind engineering firms that would be really nice to work for, but their locations aren't ideal for us, so if they don't work out then we'll spread our search wide and it opens up all sorts of possibilities for deciding where to relocate. Do we want to head back west near family? The mountain west is a fairly expensive place to live. But do we want to live in some of the less expensive areas in the country? Maybe. Might be great. But there are just so many options and choices. I could do some decision analysis on it, a process I learned in my grad program, and I am loosely doing it in my head, but I can't even decide what my priorities are. Too many options. Previously we were very limited to location of desired firm. Now what is our criteria? So many things to think about.


Aside from that this week has been all about swim lessons. The kids are loving them. This was Chloe's first time floating. She did it on her own while her siblings were in their lessons and she was just playing. I'm pretty sure it was an accident but she realized it was awesome and now she's all over the pool.

She's just so cute in her swimsuit and puddle jumper. She has to wear it whenever she's in the YMCA pool not during lessons.

Aaron also figured out the puddle jumper thing and now he's all over the pool.

We went to a friend's birthday party. It was so fun.

The kids got out their own water colors one afternoon. They did a surprisingly good job of painting without making a huge mess.

Bill and Chloe got colds this weekend. This is his happy sick husband face. :)

Another week in the books

Baby cuddles. 

 After a four-mile run with Spencer bike riding with me. It was awesome.

 He looks so old to me in this picture.

 Aaron and Chloe both wanted to cuddle.

 Last day of school!

 Chloe on the last day of school.

 Swimming lessons. Chloe patiently waited until the older kids were done before I let her get in too. She's doing her own swim lessons on Saturday mornings this month and the older kids have them for the next two weeks.

 I'm absurdly proud of this. I did all of it instead of having someone else quilt it. It's about all the capacity my normal sized sewing machine can handle. But it turned out better than I ever imagined.

 And this is how I got it done. Chloe likes to sit on my lap when I sew, which is fine unless she starts pressing buttons.

 I have other decorations that I'll eventually put on my piano, but for now this is all I have out. I have a lot of random stuff like decorations already packed up.

 More swimming lessons. The kids had a great time. They have seven more lessons, so this is good. Spencer is in his own class and Aaron and Chloe are together because Genevieve doesn't turn six until August. She looks huge compared to the three year olds in there, lol.