Have you ever wanted to be done with a stage in your life? Who am I kidding? Of course you have. I'm to that point with where I'm at. I try so very hard to be content with what I'm doing and how things are going and find the good in everything. There really is a lot of that. I love my friends, my calling, my 1-year old, where we live, having my FIL living with us, being pregnant with another little one, etc, etc.
Yet still, I really think I'd be okay with a change. Like Bill being done with school and getting a job. I'd love to have my kids be a little older so we could introduce them to all those fun outdoorsy things that Bill and I love so much and don't do at all at the moment. Heck, I'd just take Bill having a little more time in his life so that he could actually finish his work and have free time. I pine for the day he comes home before 6:30PM and doesn't have any homework to do on the weekends. Then I don't think I would care whether our kids were really little. We'd both be able to put our minds to planning how to do fun things with them despite their age. Oh, and what would it be like to not at least partially live off of student loans? That will be a blissful day when it arrives. Making money again? What is that like? I'm so used to this school thing, but I could really get unused to it. What if going on a campout didn't immediately bring to mind how much gas will cost or whatever random food we choose to buy. What a novel thought.
You know what else I could really enjoy? A dishwasher. Even a bad one. I'll rinse the dishes. Just give me somewhere to put them to finish them off. That might be the one downside to our house. Speaking of houses, I really want to buy one. You know, someday. I just wish someday were getting closer, like we were actually saving for a down payment or something great like that. Remember that whole living on student loans part I mentioned? Yeah, no down payment right now.
So I really do have a lot of amazing blessings in my life. I could name so many things that are fantastic and another time I will. But right now, I could do with a change. Too much to ask? Maybe. All those changes will come soon enough. Today I'm just not feeling so patient about waiting for them.
4 comments:
Oh I hear ya! Living off of school loans gets old fast. Having a steady job and schedule is soooooo much better, even if your kids are still little and money is tight.
I totally know this feeling. And was SO glad when Adrian graduated. Then the turkey decided to start another graduate degree...so we're back to being students again (granted it's part time not full time) but, man, I forgot how much I miss my husband when he's in school. Yuck.
Also, have you thought about purchasing a portable dishwasher? I didn't even know they existed until we lived in an apartment complex in Indiana where all of my friends had one. I think we got ours for around $100-$150 off of Craigslist. It was awesome (you plug it in and attach it to the kitchen sink). The only downside is having to find a place to put it when it's not in use. :( You should consider it if you haven't already!
Good luck!
I totally understand where you are coming from as I've been there and am continually there off and on over the years. :) But I can't help, but here this song going over and over in my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBDN8yWyNYU&ob=av3e
On a side note, I had no idea you were pregnant! Congrats!
Michelle, I love that song! And it's really so true.
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